I woke up this morning with my head racing. I’m due to invoice a biggish bill and the client has requested the last bill of this size be re-issued so he could pay most of it after he has public funding for the project in a months time. I anticipated the same would apply for this months bill.
I’m also due to be married in three days, so delaying two months pay checks isn’t working for the kinds of expenses that are accumulating.
When you panic, you make shitty decisions. Come to shitty conclusions.
This is when you need to break the thought patterns and get back to your centre: the place where all the good ideas come from, and the place those gut instincts and insights come from.
The best way to break a “thinking” pattern is by starting a “doing” pattern. Something you can do right now, alone. Something you’ve done a thousand times or more, through all seasons and stages.
Something with a pre-set end time, because it’s too easy to use an activity you find absorbing, interesting or enjoyable to procrastinate.
It’s the ritual that rewires your brain to recall that yes, you did exactly this before that time when you thought all was about to fall apart, and did it? No, you sailed through it. And that you did exactly this before that other time, when things fell through and you found something better.
It’s the tiny ritual that reminds us that our thoughts and feelings are fleeting, but our core values, outlooks and skills will always see us though and to trust in that.
For me, it was the ritual of making my coffee- grinding the beans, heating and then frothing the milk manually, filling it into my favourite cappuccino mug and topping the result with cinnamon then powdered cocoa- that reset my brain.
I will always be a person who cares about how my clients are doing overall, not just chase a check. That doesn’t make me an imposter or bad at what I do.
But that it tells me that this is a core value to me, and to align what I do around that going forwards, so theres no conflict with what I want for myself.